This is a story of how a mature woman feels when she is in love, a story by psychologist Elena Shpundra. Read how
I am almost 42 years old, and from time to time, I like to say that I do not believe in love, romance, or happiness “for the rest of my life.” I am primarily open to men, and without hesitation, I let them know what I like and what I don’t. I also tell them without much hesitation that they are going to hell.
I haven’t always been like this. I pampered men, cooked for them, bought presents, waited for their messages, and was ready to go to the end of the world with them. Each time, I was willing to give myself entirely out of love. But if I’m not ready for it anymore, does that mean I can’t love anymore?
When we are younger, we primarily look for each other, which can be pretty painful. Sometimes you need to explore boundaries and re-examine yourself to know who you are.
Maturity is the time when you really meet yourself. Then, finally, we begin to live for ourselves after youthful blindness and thoughts of sacrifice.
That doesn’t mean we don’t need anyone else. Does that mean we have become successful, self-centered, confident, or lonely? No. We want love, warmth, and a relationship full of understanding, like when we were 20 years old. But so far, we have learned that all these things are reciprocal in a healthy relationship.
That’s why I don’t do these things anymore:
10. I don’t wait for a man’s messages and calls
Either I send a message first, or I exclude those who don’t even have time to call me or write that they are busy.
9. I don’t want to go to a meeting if the place and time don’t suit me
If a man is not interested in how busy a woman is, in her desires, comfort, that is not good. I don’t need a man like that.
8. I don’t forgive him if he doesn’t buy me a birthday present
I love men who spend money on the woman they love. People who skimp on money usually skimp on everything else. Even if you don’t remember the important date for his partner, they show how much they don’t appreciate her.
7. I can’t justify someone’s failure after the age of 40
That doesn’t mean I’m just asking for money. When we were young, we experimented, tried and fell, did various jobs… At the age of 40, we should have some kind of career and a decent place to live.
6. I won’t keep quiet if I don’t like something
I will not drive men crazy with constant complaints, and I will not make noise. But if I don’t like speeding, I won’t keep quiet if it scares me.
I will not give any signals, wait for him to notice it, not sulk, and say openly: “Don’t drive too fast, please. That scares me.”